Monday, 9 November 2009

Some late night rambling

Last night - Sunday – I went out into the garden at my mother's house. It was about 9pm, there was a little light from the street lamps but as she lives on the edge of town overlooking the harbour and open Irish Sea it was pretty dark. The sky was filled with stars; the plough, the north star, cassiopea and the pleiadies all stood out among the millions of pin pricks of shining light. I stood there with a large rum and coke and made three toasts each followed by pouring a libation into the ground, nicely, it ran off and into a crack in the patio and soaked into the soil beneath.

Seeing the stars again like this after such a long time of virtually nothing in the night sky but the moon, the odd star and innumerable aeroplanes on their approach to Heathrow airport only reaffirms my thoughts of something missing as a result of living in London. It is another piece of the whole I feel I am not connecting with whilst living in the city.

I cant help but wonder what people living here a thousand or two thousand years ago thought when the looked up into the sky, what they saw the countless stars as as they watched over them and slowly paraded across the heavens. Were they kings or gods? ancestors or inanimate? It is impossible to know and can be nothing more than wild stabbing in the dark to guess.

Aside from the truth of them being mind bogglingly large balls of burning gas countless billions of miles away, what do they mean to me? What do I think and feel about them?

I have watched the progress of Orion across the winter sky; each night is circuit and that circuit shift as the weeks went by. As the earth spins and circles the sun, as the world blossoms, fruits and dies with the seasons so do the stars. Like some great cosmic mirror reflecting down onto us the happenings of the little blue planet as they appear to the infinite cosmos. Microcosm made macrocosm and reflected back on itself.

Its funny how there is the potential for so much microcosm and macrocosm interaction and reflection there is, like some great cosmic lensing system reflecting, mixing and superimposing. I see it in Wicca and I see it in my more personal work. I wonder what we would find if we looked into that point where all these microcosms and macrocosms intersected? Does God dwell in that place where the universe has folded itself over and in and out on itself so many times it becomes indistinguishable from itself?

Saturday, 7 November 2009

All Hallows

Winter's coming has been sharp and decisive; the lingering mildness of autumn and its flushes of warmth have been sent hurtling over the horizon by the teeth of winter which seems to have come in with a vengeance – a vengeance born on cold winds and freezing rain. Autumnal trees and their golden dressing have been ravaged lately and been left bare and black. This kind of sharp change is welcome, the clarity of transition has been a welcome change from the strange smear that has occurred in the past.

I had plans to do something at Nos Calan Gaeaf at a similar time with other members of Brython, as it happened I had some problems which scuppered that plan and has thrown a minor spanner in the works and has really left me thinking. Part of the process was 'toasting' the local ancestors and spirits – the thing is, I am struggling to get anything in this area. I live in London; about 300 miles from any kind of ancestral connections. So to make a connection in London with 'ancestors' is a bit like grabbing a floating beach ball at arms length. That said I am back in Wales now and that feeling is there; having spent time with family, shared in bad news and hysterical laughing with them I 'feel' that ancestral connection as part of the place I am in. So, I will be doing my 'Halloween thing' over the time I am here.

The littlest things reaffirm everything I have been writing – I have put this blogasm together over a couple of days – such as driving don the unlit country roads and realising it has been such a long time since I have seen what the world looks like in headlights. I am reliving perspectives I have known before and it is all coming flooding back in a wave of familiarity and connection. This just isnt something I get in London, certainly not to the same extent. Perhaps I get something like this when near the Thames – it is probably one of the only parts of London I 'get something' off of. Anyway, this just reaffirms I need to work on plenty when I get back to London and the Thames is the ideal place to begin. Perhaps also I will go back to that little church – St Brides - I visited last Imbolc.

Witchcraft and spellcraft. Two words that conjure very mixed thoughts and feelings in me at the best of times, but something I slip back into with an ease which has surprised me this week. I found out when I got back that my cousin has stomach cancer. The thing is to say 'my cousin' doesnt begin to get close to the kind of relationship that part of my father's family has with each other. They are like brothers and sisters rather than cousins, all due to the situations surrounding my Nana and her husband back when my dad was a baby ( I think this is something I will come back to soon as it concerns issues such as ancestors and their acknowledgement or non-acknowledgement even). Anyhow, the thing is, he cant die. It just isnt an option, I wont let that happen to my father and my sick cousins wife (who I am very find of). So on hearing he is ill within seconds I had already in my head a form of witchcraft with which to set at this tumour. Suffice to say it involves a lemon and some big wicked thorns – maybe nails is thorns aren't too easy come to get hold of this wet weekend. It was the way I slipped into this mode and had things worked out in my head before I knew I had done it which has got me thinking, it has become almost instinctive and only it seems when it needs to be. Nice.

I have had one of my hiatuses again it seems – sounds almost medical really – so it is time to settle down for a winter of cold and wind and woolly jumpers, a chance to do some reflecting, thinking and planning and of course I should set it all down in little ones and zeros and slap it up on the net.