So where do I go from here?
There are a number of things on my mind at the moment, namely, other people. The work and progress with Brython as part of the Tegoluktos Rigatona is where I really want to be, it feels right and is where all of me wants to be going. I also really want to be getting together with the coven too, I have had several months off as it were to think things through and review my aims/wishes/needs/wants/desires and so forth and I am sure that the coven is for me and where I want to be going. So these are the two things I want more of, more time on and more investment in.
What do I want less of? I am beginning to think it might be the pagan community at large. The Beltane Bash and Halloween Bash are off; they have descended into a festering mire of shite run by someone and her cronies with no concept or providing for those they claim to be serving as it were. Instead it is a self-indulgent fantasy enactment parade. I see no reason why I should offer my time and effort any longer in supporting it. I am also beginning to despair that the pagan community at large is too lazy to do anything for itself, too tight to pay for good quality goods and not committed enough to give up time and energy to help those they claim to be part of a 'community' with. Its a cliché but the majority are after a cheap and quick fix. There tends to be be minimal critical thinking, as little effort as possible and a disheartening lack of commitment.
I think over the next few months to year I will 'drop' whatever commitments I have regarding the community and maintain or develop a few (a) where they are welcomed (b) where I want to be active.